It’s uncomfortable and a subject few musicians talk about openly, but the behavior of a lead singer in a rock band can gravitate to new depths never imagined. Let’s explore the many paths that can be presented that divide a band and help give the singer a stage name that even their parents reluctantly call him.
At some point in achieving a bit of success, the singer gets a sudden burst of undeserved confidence that rubs everyone the wrong way. He turns into a controlling egomaniac. For this condition, there is no known cure. This is called LSD or “Lead Singer’s Disease.”
Unexpected Stage Attire
At the last minute, your singer shows up on stage wearing something totally wrong for the band. It could be green hair, a mustache, or even the dreaded flaunting of a Scottish kilt.
I’m A Singer, Now I’m the Producer
Eventually the singer starts telling the band how to play their instruments in the rehearsal room. But it’s when they enter a recording studio, that they think they have become a recording genius, using phrases such as “I think the guitar should go duh duh duh duh, chunka chunka chunka…”
The Late Show
If it’s a rehearsal, your singer may not even show up. He will use the excuse, “You guys need to work out your parts and get tight.” But what’s really annoying is when they show up fashionably late for a big show, forcing the band to play a twenty-minute intro until he appears on the stage.
You Lift Equipment, I Just Sing
A singer never helps to carry equipment to the gig and doesn’t even own a microphone. While humming a song from the band’s repertoire and galloping like a horse, he will stride past his band members who are lifting Marshall amps with sweat degrading their Affliction shirts.
Let’s Name The Band After Me
All too often, a singer thinks the best name for the band would be their own last name. Unfortunate cases are the bands called “Glasscock”, “Mangina”, “Stroker”, “Morehead”, and the incomparable “Keihanaikukauakahihuliheekahaunaele”.
I Wrote That Song
Singers love to tell fans that an entire song was written by them, forgetting to mention that they just wrote the words, and actually had help with the words too.
Stand Behind Me
During a band photo shoot, and without any warning, a singer suddenly steps in front of the entire band to look bigger and more important. Then he points and spreads his arms out in an attempt to take up all the real estate allowed on an 8×10.
I’m The One With The Microphone
When a singer gets the urge, his opinions can really shake up the band. It could be an alcohol-induced political rant or the dissing of a singer in another band. Everyone naturally expects the band to agree with him and there have been many performances when bandmates have come to blows onstage. The scene plays out like a lightweight edition of the WWE: hair pulling and men in tights.
Your Girlfriend Wants Me
Those pelvic lunges and seductive stares are no stage act. The singer honestly believes he has the looks and talent to take any girl. It gets really ugly when the band’s girlfriends are in the front row to witness the gyrating moves of someone who has studied every detail of a Miley Cyrus concert.