Top 10 Reasons That Bands Hate Their Singer

It’s uncomfortable and a subject few musicians talk about openly, but the behavior of a lead singer in a rock band can gravitate to new depths never imagined. Let’s explore the many paths that can be presented that divide a band and help give the singer a stage name that even their parents reluctantly call him.

LSD

At some point in achieving a bit of success, the singer gets a sudden burst of undeserved confidence that rubs everyone the wrong way. He turns into a controlling egomaniac. For this condition, there is no known cure. This is called LSD or “Lead Singer’s Disease.”

Jim-Gillette

Unexpected Stage Attire

At the last minute, your singer shows up on stage wearing something totally wrong for the band. It could be green hair, a mustache, or even the dreaded flaunting of a Scottish kilt.

kiedisedited

I’m A Singer, Now I’m the Producer

Eventually the singer starts telling the band how to play their instruments in the rehearsal room. But it’s when they enter a recording studio, that they think they have become a recording genius, using phrases such as “I think the guitar should go duh duh duh duh, chunka chunka chunka…”

Sully-Studio

The Late Show

If it’s a rehearsal, your singer may not even show up. He will use the excuse, “You guys need to work out your parts and get tight.” But what’s really annoying is when they show up fashionably late for a big show, forcing the band to play a twenty-minute intro until he appears on the stage.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

You Lift Equipment, I Just Sing

A singer never helps to carry equipment to the gig and doesn’t even own a microphone. While humming a song from the band’s repertoire and galloping like a horse, he will stride past his band members who are lifting Marshall amps with sweat degrading their Affliction shirts.

Roadies-OK-Go

Let’s Name The Band After Me

All too often, a singer thinks the best name for the band would be their own last name. Unfortunate cases are the bands called “Glasscock”, “Mangina”,  “Stroker”, “Morehead”, and the incomparable “Keihanaikukauakahihuliheekahaunaele”.

Viper-Room

I Wrote That Song

Singers love to tell fans that an entire song was written by them, forgetting to mention that they just wrote the words, and actually had help with the words too.

Tom-Cruise

Stand Behind Me

During a band photo shoot, and without any warning, a singer suddenly steps in front of the entire band to look bigger and more important. Then he points and spreads his arms out in an attempt to take up all the real estate allowed on an 8×10.

Falling-In-Reverse

I’m The One With The Microphone

When a singer gets the urge, his opinions can really shake up the band. It could be an alcohol-induced political rant or the dissing of a singer in another band. Everyone naturally expects the band to agree with him and there have been many performances when bandmates have come to blows onstage. The scene plays out like a lightweight edition of the WWE: hair pulling and men in tights.

Axl-kilt

Your Girlfriend Wants Me

Those pelvic lunges and seductive stares are no stage act. The singer honestly believes he has the looks and talent to take any girl. It gets really ugly when the band’s girlfriends are in the front row to witness the gyrating moves of someone who has studied every detail of a Miley Cyrus concert.

DLR-Bandage

  • — J —

    Is this is a tribute to David Letterman, I approve.

  • kris08

    I just don’t get this article. STUPID!

    • Kung Fu Jesus

      Found the lead singer.

  • http://www.metalempire.co.uk/ Jon Hutch

    Guilty as charged for the most part, except in my band I did write 90% of the songs, including the drums, the guitar, the bass parts and recorded and mastered most of it in my own studio, as well as the person who got it on TV/radio and did all the promo work, I even designed all the album artwork and paid for the thing to be printed and distributed, so I think I earned it. I also helped with the gear and owned a few microphones, we had two lead singers though, the other took care of the not helping with gear and stealing all the hot girls.

  • GeeMarie Turchetti

    This is hilarious! I am familiar with this disease, LSD, aka Lead singer’s Disease, from living in Hollywierd for so many years. I am so glad to see it is finally being recognized as a true illness! Does insurance now cover it? so glad to see that these lead singers can now get some much needed help. Great article Branom…hey wait, aren’t you a lead singer??? 🙂

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  • http://superchiefband.com Haldor Von Hammer

    This is How Sloppy Secondz broke up after their hit LA Deli

  • Cindy Cochran Kraus

    These “Top 10 Reasons that Bands Hate Their Singer” is hilarious!!! I am one to agree that the singer doesn’t need command all the attention on stage. I am sure other performers who are not the lead singer will appreciate your well written article – a good and entertaining read…

  • Joe Yancey

    Two words. Axl Rose.

  • crzbaby four-twenty

    LOL.SPOT ON

  • Donna Love

    I thought ending the article with a pic of David Lee Roth with his busted nose was funny as hell! Hahaha~

  • Dave jensen

    Bringing back some of those singers is a big joke I think it’s all because of the money because the talent is gone David Lee Roth perfect example Axel Rose